Emotional Regulation for Kids: How to Help Your Child Manage Emotions

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and adjust one’s emotions appropriately in different situations. For young children, this means learning how to express their feelings in a positive way rather than reacting impulsively. When kids develop emotional regulation skills, they can respond more calmly to challenges, understand the emotions of others, and maintain strong connections with those around them.

When children can regulate their emotions, they adapt more easily to their surroundings and build confidence in social interactions. Kids with strong emotional regulation skills tend to listen attentively, express their thoughts clearly, and show empathy toward others. These abilities help them form positive relationships with friends, teachers, and family members.

Additionally, learning to manage emotions from a young age supports focus, patience, and problem-solving skills. When kids know how to process their emotions, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed by new experiences or academic challenges, allowing them to navigate different situations with greater ease.

Helping children understand and manage their emotions is an essential part of their development. Teaching emotional regulation for kids allows them to recognize their feelings, respond appropriately, and navigate their environment with confidence. As they develop these skills, they also build positive communication and stronger social connections. Here are some ways to support children on this journey.

1. Teach Kids to Identify Their Emotions

The first step in helping kids regulate their emotions is teaching them to name what they are feeling. When children cannot express their emotions with words, they may act out through negative behaviors.

Parents can support their child by introducing words that describe emotions, such as “You’re feeling happy,” “You seem sad,” or “Are you feeling frustrated?” Encouraging kids to express their emotions verbally instead of suppressing them helps them build emotional awareness.

Read more: 10+ Fun and Effective Emotional Education Games For Kids

2. Listen to Your Child

Children feel safe expressing their emotions when they know they are being heard.

When a child is upset, instead of telling them to stop crying or to be quiet, parents can acknowledge their feelings with empathy. Saying something like, “I see that you’re feeling sad. Do you want to tell me what happened?” can help children feel understood and teach them to articulate their emotions with words instead of actions.

3. Guide Kids in Problem-Solving

While it’s important to validate children’s emotions, negative behaviors should be addressed. Kids need to learn how to process their feelings in a healthy way.

• Help children calm down before reacting: When kids feel angry or upset, parents can guide them to take deep breaths or find a quiet space to regain control before expressing their emotions.
• Teach problem-solving steps: When facing a difficult situation, children can follow these steps:
  • Recognize the emotion: “How am I feeling?”
  • Identify the cause: “What made me feel this way?”
  • Find an appropriate response: “What can I do to handle this situation?”

For example, if a toddler is upset because they can’t have a toy, you might say, “You’re feeling sad because the toy is gone. Let’s choose another one together.” This helps very young children feel acknowledged and supported, even if they can’t fully express themselves yet.

With older children, you can go a step further. If they’re disappointed about not getting something they want, try saying, I know you really wanted that. Maybe we can write it on your wish list or we can save up and get it later.” These kinds of responses help children gradually learn how to handle disappointment and explore simple solutions.

4. Teach Kids to Think Positively

Positive thinking helps children regulate their emotions effectively and build confidence.

• Encourage a different perspective: When facing challenges, parents can help kids find something positive in the situation. For example, if a child feels disappointed about losing a game, parents can say, “What matters is that you tried your best and had the opportunity to learn.”
• Teach positive self-talk: Guide children to use encouraging phrases such as, “I’ll do better next time,” “I can stay calm,” or “Everything will be okay.” When positive thinking becomes a habit, kids find it easier to manage their emotions.

5. Be a Role Model for Emotional Regulation

Children learn a lot by observing how their parents handle emotions.

• Express emotions in a healthy way: Parents can model appropriate emotional expressions by saying things like, “I feel happy when I see you helping your friends,” or “I had a tough day at work, so I’m going for a walk to relax.”
• Acknowledge and correct overreactions: If parents occasionally react too strongly, they can set an example by admitting their mistake. For instance, saying, “I got a bit frustrated when we were running late, but that wasn’t the right way to express my feelings. Next time, I’ll try to take a deep breath and stay calm.” By openly discussing these moments, parents teach children that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to find better ways to manage emotions.

6. Physical Activities Help with Emotional Regulation

Physical activities and play not only support a child’s physical health but also help them manage their emotions. Exercise releases endorphins, which improve mood and reduce stress and anxiety.

Enrolling kids in sports like football, basketball, gymnastics, dance, etc. gives them a fun, structured way to stay active while learning teamwork and self-control. Even less competitive activities like swimming or kids’ yoga can offer a calming effect. Alongside physical outlets, creative play, like drawing, clay modeling, or building, also supports emotional expression in a healthy, constructive way.

7. Praise and Encourage Emotional Regulation

One of the best ways to teach kids emotional regulation is to acknowledge and praise their positive responses to emotions. This helps reinforce good behavior and motivates them to continue practicing self-control.

For example, if a child feels angry but chooses to take deep breaths instead of shouting, parents can say, “I noticed how you calmed yourself down by breathing deeply. That was a great way to handle your feelings!”

8. Help Kids Create a Coping Plan

Parents can help children prepare for emotional challenges by creating a list of activities they can do when feeling sad, angry, or anxious. Sit down with your child and brainstorm ways to feel better, such as:

• Drawing or coloring
• Hugging a favorite stuffed animal
• Listening to their favorite music
• Doing deep breathing exercises

Let your child come up with their own ideas and choose what works best for them. When they feel overwhelmed, gently remind them of this list to help them apply these approaches in real-life situations.

9. Role-Playing Helps with Emotional Regulation

Talking about emotional control isn’t enough, kids need practice to remember and apply what they learn effectively. One great way to do this is through role-playing different situations to help children get familiar with handling emotions.

For example, you can role-play losing a game and guide your child to respond appropriately: “Try saying, ‘I’ll do better next time’ instead of getting upset.”

Practicing repeatedly helps children develop better reactions when facing real-life situations.

10. Read Books About Emotional Regulation Together

Reading is a wonderful way to help children understand emotions and learn how to manage them in a gentle way. Stories featuring characters in similar situations allow kids to empathize and draw lessons from them.

You can choose age-appropriate books about emotions, such as:

• “The Color Monster” by Anna Llenas (helps kids identify and categorize emotions)
• “When Sophie Gets Angry, Really, Really Angry” by Molly Bang (teaches kids how to manage anger)
• “I Feel… Series” by DJ Corchin (a series that helps children understand different emotions)

While reading with your child, ask questions like:

• “Have you ever felt like this character?”
• “What would you do if you were in this situation?”

This approach helps children learn and apply emotional regulation techniques in their daily lives.

1. Be Patient and Understanding When Your Child Has Emotional Outbursts

When a child experiences an emotional outburst, parents shouldn’t rush to intervene or tell them to calm down immediately. Allow them to express their emotions naturally without judgment.

If your child is feeling frustrated or upset, stay close and remain calm. Avoid trying to talk things through while they are still overwhelmed. Instead, offer comfort, a hug if needed, and wait until they have calmed down before discussing what made them upset.

2. Acknowledge Your Child’s Emotions

Recognizing your child’s emotions helps them feel safe and understood, making it easier for them to learn how to regulate their feelings.

For example: “I understand that you’re sad because Grandma went home. I feel sad too. How about we draw a picture for her together?”

Sometimes, anger stems from feelings of disappointment or emotional invalidation. When parents acknowledge and empathize with their child’s emotions, the child learns to express their feelings in a healthier way.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Parents shouldn’t expect children to always regulate their emotions perfectly, especially in moments that feel new or unfamiliar, like meeting new classmates or adjusting to a new routine. During these times, kids need extra support from adults rather than being told to control their emotions immediately.

Keep in mind that children need time to learn and practice emotional regulation skills at different stages of development.

4. Emotional Regulation Is a Long-Term Journey

Teaching a child to regulate emotions is not something that happens overnight. Most children gradually improve their ability to manage emotions as they enter elementary school. However, advanced skills like planning, organizing, problem-solving, and behavioral control continue to develop well into adulthood.

Parents should remember that emotional development is a long journey, requiring patience, guidance, and continuous support from caregivers.

Teaching emotional regulation for kids not only helps them develop self-control but also builds a strong foundation for success in learning and life. When children understand and manage their emotions well, they become more confident in communication, collaborate better with peers, and learn to handle challenges in a positive way.

At La Petite Ecole Ho Chi Minh International School, we focus not only on academic knowledge but also on the holistic development of children, including emotional regulation skills. Through a supportive learning environment, creative play-based activities, and dedicated guidance from our teachers, children are encouraged to express their emotions, learn to regulate their behavior, and build confidence in various situations.

We hope this article has provided useful insights for parents on supporting their child’s emotional development. If you would like to learn more about our educational programs at La Petite Ecole Ho Chi Minh, feel free to contact us today!

• Phone: 028 3519 1521
• Email: contact@lpehochiminh.com
• Address: 172 – 180 Nguyen Van Huong, Thao Dien, District 2, Ho Chi Minh city